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I was scared. She still didn't know what Arie and I had done (and not done), I still didn't know how she'd react... She didn't know, in essence, whose cock it was she was currently stroking, her fingers sliding deft and gentle across its surface, over the head and shaft and underside. Would she have volunteered if she did no? And if the answer was No, how would she feel later, having discovered in retrospect?It made me feel sick to my stomach. She'd hate me. That was the simple answer. This, as well as the first, might be the last time I'd ever feel her touch my cock.But with that thought came a strange clarity, and a single overriding impulse: Well, kiddo, if that's the way it goes, then you'd better enjoy it, eh? Enjoy it while it lasts."Oooh," Meredith breathed as my cock swelled under her fingers.Standing far to my left, Dr. Schlemmer began narrating. I had actually forgotten he was there. "Finally found your on switch? Got the safety released? I've heard of erectile dysfunction,. "I only charge thirty quid for a shag. Justenough t'keep me in liquor and food. And fags."I laughed.There was a wall now between me and my old persona. Everything about mehad changed. It was as though I had temporarily unclipped the string ofmy destiny and replaced it with hers.I shuddered, loving the wave of claustrophobia that came when I thoughtabout that. Her destiny: mine.If I never changed back then it would be me living this life forever,prostituting myself for businessmen and labourers, caught up so tightlyin her mind that I wouldn't have the ability to get out.But I knew the secret of the Golden Gloom. I knew how to return to mytrue life.All I had to do was reverse the process - concentrate on the virtues ofmy old life over this one. As long as I didn't lose myself in this newsinister role then I would always be able to go back.As long as I didn't lose myself...6In the kitchenette, I unwrapped one of the microwave dinners I'dwatched her buy earlier and stuck it in to cook on.
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